It’s cool, the doorknob can still peg you if you’re motivated.
Well, at least I could unscrew a doorknob
No. What kind of sick fuck loves a doorknob?
Mad at me for a week. Tells every friend and family member that I don’t love her unconditionally for the rest of our lives. Brings it up at my funeral…
This unironically my favorite paparazzi photo of all time. It’s entirely relatable on so many levels and I feel like I’m in his shoes.
Give back his shoes 😡
“Probably, but I have several questions.”
- Were you always a doorknob, or is this some kind of witch’s curse situation?
- If you were always a doorknob, how did we meet and what was our first date like?
- If this is some curse, what did you do that warranted polymorphism, and how do we change you back. (Would you even want to go back?)
- Could I be cursed to be the door that you’re installed in?
- How would intimacy work between us? I’m simply not creative enough to incorporate a doorknob into this
- Being presumably immortal as a doorknob, or at the very least having a much longer lifespan than us mortals, how would you move on after old age claims me?
Ah, I can answer #5:
drops my pants and backs up to the doorknob this is for you, babe… all that knot training is going to finally pay off
Could I be cursed to be the door that you’re installed in?
That sounds kinky as fuck.
You forgot the most important question of all: in this scenario, am I also a doorknob? It turns out that solves a lot of the other issues…
I’d love you better as a doorknob…
turns out to be the wrong answer, and I can’t find the undo button 😞
What, then everyone can touch you! I’m okay with that, if it’s what you want. Wait, why are you mad? What did I say? How am I in trouble for trying to make you happy? You asked the question, I’m just being supportive…
Have you tried jiggling her a little? Or maybe lift while turning?
Try some WD-jelly
Is there a keyhole?
‘What makes you think I loved you to begin with?’
Throwback to a totally unqualified health class sub telling a bunch of preteens:
“You know why they call some girls dooknobs? Cause everybody gets a turn.”
lay off the salvia girl
“Ha ha ha… That’s a really interesting question because you, as things currently stand, are definitely not a doorknob?”
That’s why you don’t date nurses…
/S
Haha women am I right?
I’ve got one, “When you’re back home after a 24 hour nursing shift and your bf hits you”
“So what you are saying is any Tom,Dick, or Harry that comes to the door gets a turn?”
