It’s cool, the doorknob can still peg you if you’re motivated.
No. What kind of sick fuck loves a doorknob?
Mad at me for a week. Tells every friend and family member that I don’t love her unconditionally for the rest of our lives. Brings it up at my funeral…
Haha women am I right?
I’ve got one, “When you’re back home after a 24 hour nursing shift and your bf hits you”
Throwback to a totally unqualified health class sub telling a bunch of preteens:
“You know why they call some girls dooknobs? Cause everybody gets a turn.”
This unironically my favorite paparazzi photo of all time. It’s entirely relatable on so many levels and I feel like I’m in his shoes.
Give back his shoes 😡
“Probably, but I have several questions.”
- Were you always a doorknob, or is this some kind of witch’s curse situation?
- If you were always a doorknob, how did we meet and what was our first date like?
- If this is some curse, what did you do that warranted polymorphism, and how do we change you back. (Would you even want to go back?)
- Could I be cursed to be the door that you’re installed in?
- How would intimacy work between us? I’m simply not creative enough to incorporate a doorknob into this
- Being presumably immortal as a doorknob, or at the very least having a much longer lifespan than us mortals, how would you move on after old age claims me?
Ah, I can answer #5:
drops my pants and backs up to the doorknob this is for you, babe… all that knot training is going to finally pay off
Could I be cursed to be the door that you’re installed in?
That sounds kinky as fuck.
You forgot the most important question of all: in this scenario, am I also a doorknob? It turns out that solves a lot of the other issues…
I’d love you better as a doorknob…
turns out to be the wrong answer, and I can’t find the undo button 😞
What, then everyone can touch you! I’m okay with that, if it’s what you want. Wait, why are you mad? What did I say? How am I in trouble for trying to make you happy? You asked the question, I’m just being supportive…
Have you tried jiggling her a little? Or maybe lift while turning?
Try some WD-jelly
‘What makes you think I loved you to begin with?’
Is there a keyhole?
lay off the salvia girl
That’s why you don’t date nurses…
/S
“Ha ha ha… That’s a really interesting question because you, as things currently stand, are definitely not a doorknob?”
“So what you are saying is any Tom,Dick, or Harry that comes to the door gets a turn?”
