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Hofmaimaier@feddit.org to me_irl@lemmy.world · 5 days ago

me_irl

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me_irl

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Hofmaimaier@feddit.org to me_irl@lemmy.world · 5 days ago
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  • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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    5 days ago

    A bit rude to call humans monkeys, that’s extremely insulting.

    Monkeys aren’t dumb enough to blow themselves up.

    • gustofwind@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      They probably are if we gave them the opportunity

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        5 days ago

        They would elect Donald Chimp and give him access to the banana button.

    • prettybunnys@piefed.social
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      5 days ago

      Exactly, we’re apes.

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        No, we’re great apes. 🙄

        • fckreddit@lemmy.ml
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          5 days ago

          Great, indeed.

        • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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          5 days ago

          Pretty sure this is a dry taxonomy thing and not a “we better” thing.

        • fartographer@lemmy.world
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          5 days ago

          Obviously, if we’re the reason for all this.

    • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      They are dumn enough to never get to a state where they could

      • Signtist@bookwyr.me
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        5 days ago

        Some might call that intelligence.

        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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          5 days ago

          Nah that’s definitely a wisdom stat.

  • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Douglas Adams couldn’t have written it better

  • finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    I wish the monkeys would hurry the fuck up

  • trollercoaster@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    Why is everything blaming the monkeys now? Hasn’t it been the general consensus that things started to go downhill the moment this idiot fish decided to walk on dry land?

  • Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip
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    5 days ago

    Apes, not monkeys. No tail.

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      5 days ago

      Speak for yourself.

    • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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      5 days ago

      If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, even though it has a monkey kind of shape.

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        If is doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey!

        If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s an ape!

        Edit: Larry and Bob are clearly Apes. They have no tails

    • hector@lemmy.today
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      5 days ago

      Some people are born with tails.

      • Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip
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        4 days ago

        That doesn’t put them into the monkey evolutionary line, though.

  • jpreston2005@lemmy.world
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    The monkeys realize they can power contraptions using the heat from combustion. After widespread adoption, they find out that the result of this process is slowly destroying their home at an increasing rate. The monkeys ignore the destruction, because the monkeys have created a system that replaces work with a token, and monkeys hoarding tokens having seized control of the central monkey systems, stopping any other monkeys from addressing the destruction of their home.

    The Monkeys with the most, are also the most afraid, because they fear no longer having tokens, and of being treated like they treat token-less monkeys. So the hoarding monkeys cheat and lie and steal until they’re so powerful that even committing terrible crimes doesn’t get them in trouble with other monkeys, so afraid monkeys are of those with the most tokens.

    So quietly, and without notice, the day comes and passes, when if they were going to stop the destruction, if they were going to save their world, they would have had to have acted on that day… but they didn’t. Because the token-having monkeys made sure that no other monkeys were allowed to stop them. And so they continued destroying their only home, until it was too late, and they all ended up dying of starvation, thirst, and exhaustion, while the planet they were on went about it’s day, hoping that a newer, more intelligent kind of life would emerge.

    • hector@lemmy.today
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      You left out the best part. That in their greed and fear the tokened monkeys made a political monster to give them more, and they lose control of it, and it destroys them. One way and others. Then the climate change and all that, no telling how that turns out when. Fucking day after tomorrow winter where I’m at.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    5 days ago

    *Apes.

    • Communist@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz
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      This is not a cladistically unsound notion, apes are a subgroup of monkey.

      • P1k1e@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        I think you’ve got that backwards

        • Communist@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz
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          4 days ago

          I do not, monkeys include the apes.

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CkO8k12QCP0

          here’s a video from an evolutionary biologist explaining.

          • P1k1e@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            Ah yes your right. I didn’t watch the vid you posted but, I was under the impression Ape was short for Primate, but apparently it’s short for Hominoidia…witch I kinda hate but whatcha gonna do

  • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    *Apes

    • Hofmaimaier@feddit.orgOP
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      5 days ago

      • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        Nonsense. I have no idea where these accusations keep coming from. Also, I would be statistically FAR safer to be around than one of you humans, sharks kill far less of y-US than humans do, if I was a shark and not a tasty man, which I’m not.

    • hector@lemmy.today
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      5 days ago

      Apes strong together. We can take them if we unite.

  • ch00f@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Then all of these rocks and stars are forgotten when the universe is just black holes for a trillion trillion years.

    • 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      All those black holes coalesce into a single super duper ultra plus max black hole, and then it explodes.

      And, here we go again.

  • The Infinite Nematode@feddit.uk
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    5 days ago

    Isn’t this the intro to Disco Elysium?

  • D_C@sh.itjust.works
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    This is really harsh on monkeys tbh. If monkeys were actually in charge none of this shit would be happening.

  • tensorpudding@lemmy.world
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    I bet there are other monkeys out there who had the same thought over the years.

  • loutr@sh.itjust.works
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bndL7wwAj0U

  • fckreddit@lemmy.ml
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    5 days ago

    And the universe just goes on and on.

  • hector@lemmy.today
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    That is good, but we don’t know how old the universe actually is. Despite what the experts tell us.

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