I sleep better snuggled up against someone.
A game changer for me was separate cover blankets.
When we got together this was not even negotiable on either side, we basically laughed at the idea of a single blanket.
I did suggested a single mattress to not have a gap but got a simple no and didn’t ask again.
I uses to suffer from night terrors regularly that mostly went away when I started sleeping with SO. Thay being said we do sleep better in a long size bed then in the standard twin we have at home. So maybe the issue is space.
I struggle to sleep without my husband. I need my feet to touch his, at least. We share a queen bed, even use the same blanket (it is a King blanket though). Im really surprised so many folks don’t sleep in the same bed at their partner here. Nothing wrong with it, I’m just surprised.
Maybe things will change when we are older, but I couldn’t imagine.
I am kind of incredulous that anyone actually sleeps better with a whole separate person in the bed. It gets too hot and you both wake up whenever the other one uses the bathroom, or if you don’t go to bed at the same time, or if you don’t get up at the same time. Just from those basic mechanics it seems to defy logic that actual sleep quality, beyond some intangible aesthetic, wouldn’t be negatively impacted.
I have terrible insomnia, I have misophonia, and I am a light sleeper. My partner talks in his sleep, he’s a furnace, and a loud breather, but I’ll tell you, nothing conks me out like turning over and being the big spoon on that guy. When he’s out of town it’s harder (or at least less comfortable) to fall asleep. Sometimes when I really really can’t sleep for hours, I’ll reach over and just hold his limp sleeping hand and it helps.
He can fall asleep anywhere and sleep through anything though. If we were both poor sleepers, idk what we’d do.
I wish I could sleep in the same bed as my partner (forever, not just the rare nights when we try). It’s lovely to have the physical touch as I fall asleep. Unfortunately I toss, turn, and sometimes wake up in cold sweats from nightmares, so it’s better for both of us to have the separate beds.
My husband used to have night terrors before he got sober. That shit was scary! He would sleep talk, and not sound human. I’ll never forget I woke up early one day while he stayed asleep and I heard him yelling “help” over and over. I was so scared, I ran to him, and woke him.
Thank goodness it stopped when he got sober. I feel for anyone who gets night terrors, it’s no fun
I sleep better when I’m next to my wife.
I also sleep better when I’m next to your wife
… Sorry, my pre-Lemmy internet use has corrupted me.
“I also choose this guys’ wife.”
Me and husband each have our own blankets and sheets and such on the one king bed. Cause he’s a furnace and I’d explode if I got that hot. It’s much nicer.
Scandinavian sleeping, it’s the best!
It took me a few years to convince my partner that sleeping separately would be a good idea. He snores and I am a very light sleeper. It has improved our relationship to sleep apart. Since I talk to my friends about it, I know that many of them also sleep apart and credit it for being able to stay happily married instead of being sleep deprived and always mad at their partner. On vacation, we often go back to sharing a bed.
I agree. My wife and I fought against separate beds for a long time, but some things went down that required us to have alternate sleep schedules so that forced us to do it.
That was 12 years ago and we have had separate bedrooms ever since.
We have since learned that pretty much all of our friends who have been married for significant number of years sleep in separate beds. Sleeping is such an important part of living and a huge impact on QoL. So once you accept that quality sleep is a basic need and not a referendum on the state of the marriage it just solves a set of problems.
I think that we as couple, we feel somewhat the same. Split bedrooms never hurt us. Try’na pretend that we don’t do weird stuff in our sleep is absolutely crazy talk. The bizarre behavior we do in our sleep is downright weird & funny. There should absolutely be no shame in sleeping separately for a solid nights rest. Any halfway intelligent couple is aware of this. Or at least will soon be turned on to this insane idea. .
Using a Device of Mandibular Advancement I have been able to stop snoring completely and I don’t need CPAP anymore.
It is done by dentists.
I sleep so much better with my wife. Unless I snore, then I get kicked awake all night
I also sleep so much better with your wife
you’re the one kicking him, aren’t you?
Oh shit, Jen? /s
Mmmmm. I’ll soundly sleep in a bathtub if it’s with a woman I love. Don’t love you? Too hot and uncomfortable. And, sleeping alone, I go back to my roots. Way back. If I feel like I’m hiding in a hole and the dinosaurs about to get fucked, I sleep so good.
I like John Hodgman’s suggestion: Couples should sleep in two beds, in two villas, separated by a reflecting pool.
I mean, I would like it if I could afford it.
Married and swear by seperate beds. It’s amazing if you’ve got the space. But it is good to make sure you get plenty of “lying about in bed together” time. But it’s great to be able to go off to your own bed after for a peaceful, undisturbed sleep. And being able to read a night or get dressed in the morning without worrying about disturbing your partner.
I sleep much better accompanied. I’m single at the moment and it’s been dreary.
My only non solicited advice… don’t advertise your lonely… let it happen organically, then it’s real. Recognize it’s not forever. Nothing is, but enjoy the time you have with your significant other and embrace it.
When I’m sad I just stop being sad and be awesome instead.
Relics of reddit… that wasn’t even close… I was giving my only wisdom from a place of experience, and seemingly got torn down for empathizing and trying
gettingto help…It’s a reference to the popular TV show How I Met Your Mother
Interesting…
I sleep better with my wife in the bed :3
I sleep better with your wife in my bed too!
My ideal living situation with a partner would be:
Two entirely separate living areas with individual bedrooms, plus a third area for both of us that also has a bed.
So in other words, I’ll probably be single forever.
I mean, that’s how it’s like with my third partner, so I think you’ll be okay.
(Note: we are poly, not cheating with HR)
Unless you have sleep apnea, the key then is to get a sleep study, and get a cpap. It changed so much for my wife
I too will testify to the power of the CPAP!
I was diagnosed with Sleep Apena and refused to use it.
I am not putting that stupid thing on my face at night.
Well when the MVA told me that if I didn’t show logs of usage I would loose my divers license i started.
It took one night to convince me it was the greatest thing ever, and I felt so stupid for not using it sooner.
My wife actually thought something was wrong because I was so “quiet” when I slept.
Sleep Apena is no bullshit and it is amazing how much it was dragging me down.
Wtf… You get that diagnosis and they will pull your driver’s license? Holy hell as if I needed any other reason to never fucking go to the doctor unless I’m literally about to die.
This was my reaction at first but when I thought about it my perspective changed. Fatigued driving is really dangerous. Your response/reaction time is severely degraded as is your decision making ability.
Impaired driving isn’t just from being intoxicated.
It is similar to how people with seizures disorders can’t drive.
