• potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    OKAY BUT HOW. I can’t even find one damn person, now I’m supposed to find multiple WHO ARE COOL WITH EACH OTHER!?

    What kind of lives do you people even lead?

    • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      My fiancé and I were splitting up. I met my now partner on Tinder. They were poly from the start so I had to get used to that.

      Married 8 years now, they’ve added a boyfriend and I have two girlfriends.

      • dingus@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        How does that work with time spent with one another and housing? I feel like I’d be tired trying to prioritize spending time with so many different individuals if that makes sense. I barely have the energy to hang out with one friend lmao

        • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          Some of our partners are long distance to it’s about planned travel like visiting someone for holidays. But we’re in talks with one of my gfs to move here permanently and she’d likely live about 20 minutes from us. So I’d more than likely see her after work as I work in the town she’d live in, then go home to my partner. Or my gf would spend the weekend here or something.

          Genuinely, Poly isn’t for everyone. It’s literally multiple relationships. Think about how much effort you put into your own monogamous relationship. Then add another. And another. My partner I live with we’re working on getting them abdominal surgery and top surgery. My GF who might move here is a medical student who’s clinically blind is living with her mum who has major health concerns so she goes to school full time and then has to come home and caretake. My other GF is dealing with her dad possibly dying while she navigates weight loss, body image issues, and surgeries coming up this summer.

          And I need to be available all the time for all three of them. It’s not all about “Omg you must have so much sex”. It’s about being present for people you love 24/7. And if you find that difficult for spending that energy on one person… Then don’t do Poly.

          • potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
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            5 days ago

            I just don’t think I have the time or energy to learn an entirely new, even harder gender, at this stage. I’m on easy mode and getting my ass kicked already. My ex-wife WAS jealous of my calves in heels tho so…

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      Skill issue.

      But for real I run in circles with a lot of polyamory and have been open from the start of my relationship with my wife that I wasn’t interested in monogamy (she wasn’t either)

    • Kushan@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Honestly it’s a lot of calendar management and Trello boards. But we get to share on the cost of subscriptions, which is nice.

    • eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 days ago

      early on I mostly just got on with my partner’s partners, didn’t form relationships with all of them but if I like someone, chances are I’ll like their partners too!

    • Rooster326@programming.dev
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      5 days ago

      Good news everyone! You can now have multiple dysfunctional relationships at the same time.

      Just take that marriage, open her right up, and your problems will just walk right out the front door.

      • tetris11@feddit.uk
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        6 days ago

        Yeah same! They’re a bit hit and miss, but it seems like they genuinely have fun makong the vids

        • ggtdbz@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          5 days ago

          The first time I discovered them they reminded me of people I did theater with back in the day and it threw me into a little existential crisis.

          They’re great!

    • MarieMarion@literature.cafe
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      5 days ago

      But like, seriously. I’ve been (mostly jokingly) begging my husband’s girlfriend to move in for a decade. Daily life would be SO MUCH easier with 3 adults at home.

      • alternategait@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        I know a poly situation that shares a house and a child. The child’s biological parents are no longer together, but 4 people live in the house and rotate school drop offs and pick-ups so there’s always someone home with the kid. And the adults still get to have non-kid centric parts of their lives.

  • smh@slrpnk.net
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    5 days ago

    One of the underrated benefits of dating someone who is dating someone else is that, when my boyfriend does something silly, I get to tattle to his girlfriend.

    Your boyfriend did blah.”

    And then we get to giggle about how cute he is.

  • JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    6 days ago

    Tabletop poly is real. Variation on kitchen table poly where everybody can have dinner at the table with each other, it’s just we play ttrpg together though we mostly play mtg ;3

  • Sunsofold@lemmings.world
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    6 days ago

    I now pronounce you barbarian, cleric, mage, a-- oh, look, they’re fighting amongst themselves again.