I’m the fast one in great shape, I’m always at the end of the line of the people I take hiking because they’ll set the pace rather than me so that I can’t accidentally let them fall behind.
I also have a rule that if anyone on the trip says that we’re done and need to turn back, we do.
It is the way.
Pro tip: try not to hike with assholes if you can help it
Is this so they don’t leave you behind or so if they turn out to be predators you can make car-key brass knuckles?
Yes.
Smells like alpine divorce.
My ex did this to me. I got heat stroke and she left me behind on the mountain. Wanted to get back to the truck for cell service cuz addicted to phone and didn’t want to wait for me.
I spent hours sitting by an alpine stream filtering and drinking water and I ended up hiking out in the dark while occasionally projectile vomiting.
There was a crazy case of this in Austria last year.
Yup. In the Wiki:
In 2026, Thomas Plamberger, a climber in Austria, was convicted of manslaughter after he left his girlfriend, Kerstin Gurtner, near the summit of the Grossglockner, where she died from hypothermia.
When hiking you always go at the slowest hikers pace.
Nah, you go your own pace and then stop at every fork, intersection, and overlook, and let everybody catch up before moving on.
For me it’s shade. I’ll slink from shadow to shadow, adds fun extra challenge.
Pet peeve of mine. Almost everyone who does this is like “oh hey you finally caught up!” and then immediately starts walking again. Leading to a situation where the people who are in good shape are constantly taking breaks, and the people who are out of shape never get a break and get more and more tired and slow all day
I get you. It was so frustrating being the less in shape one when I hiked a giant cliff face. I’m pretty stubborn and ‘strong-willed’ or whatever, and even so it was a definite struggle to demand (because the little happy bouncers don’t get any subtle suggestions) to take a break when I made it to the meeting point… and then they get frustrated because their break is now “too long.”
I get this and you are 100% right.
But I’m also one of the people that’s often bolting ahead, so let me provide my context:
I’m not fit (by any means), but I do have long strides. I go to nature to find peace and tranquillity, but normally I’m wound-up pretty tight.
I’m like a beagle, bouncing around - I need to burn off that energy. So, at the beginning I’ll bolt on a head and wait, bolt off again, etc. Eventually, I’ll “tucker myself out”, I’ll have found the peace and tranquillity that brought me to nature and then I can walk with the group.
If I don’t “bolt off” and stay with the group, I’m either clipping the back of their heels (not fun for anyone) or I’m tripping over my feet. And if I’m in front, well I’m going to eventually bolt-off. Either way, it’s not peaceful or fun for anyone.
That said, I am not one of those “oh hey, you finally caught up” type people. In fact, I make it a habit of waiting until the group is ready to go. I understand, they probably feel more pressure to take a shorter break (cause I’ve had an addition 10 minutes), but I can’t control this.
Then continue walking back and forth between the fork and the group. Its not that hard.
For me it’s also that it’s far more exhausting to walk outside of my “natural” pace. I quickly feel like shit and tire out if I have to hold back and walk slower.
They can rest at the next overlook
Then you are keeping to their pace.
Ah, I see. We’re normalizing it over the course of time spent hiking. I was thinking too simplistically, in an atomized moment-by-moment sort of way
You had it correct the first time. Keeping pace means moving at the same speed, not taking the same total time.
Then they’re out of breath when they catch you and you’ve rested up
but yes I do this too
So pop a squat and let them breathe for a moment. That’s what overlooks are for. Snack time.
I don’t have to run faster than the bear. I only have to run faster than you.
Or just hike with naturalists and then you’ll always be the fastest
Sure but every time you stop they’re going to have a new berry, leaf, or bit of bark for you to taste. (It’s me, I’m the one handing you forest treats)
Yes.
lol. My sister is a botanist. She tells the story of a team that went out on a study hike. At noon they stopped and one of them gasped, “Oh, no. I left my lunch in the car.” They turned around and laughed when they saw they were only 100 meters away.
uh, we use that word with a slightly different meaning out here. naturalist enclave is synonymous with nudist colony is synonymous with active adult community
Usually that’s “naturist”
The unacknowledged competition so many people express when walking with other people. I fucking hate that. If you want to walk with me walk with me and don’t be a dick when I’m a bit slower. You can control your speed, you just don’t want to, or don’t respect me enough to do so. Fine, go on ahead, and I’ll go home.
Bitch I’m the one out front AND I got the car keys AND the only charged phone, better keep up.
Dude, just solo hike.
Bruddah is a joke. I know how to slow down when other people are around.
I just secretly resent them for being so slow.
It doesn’t seem like you want company, I’ll go with someone else.
What I want is to get to the top of this next hill and nothing, not even my creaking knees, is gonna stop me. I’ll see you huffing and puffing up 15 minutes later and let you rest for 5 before continuing the relentless pursuit of a mind numbed by pain and motion.
This is also fanfiction written by a puma.
I really don’t get this. I’ve never been on a hiking trip where someone thinks they are participating in Tour de France or some shit.
nah, i carry the big purse. they’d be lost without me
And better bring bear spray
If they leave me alone in the woods, I become more terrifying than a bear.
„Ah shit, I thought you said beer spray”
