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Reality is, that mental illnesses stops you from committing suicide. I would have already killed myself where it not for the inability to take action.
👆
I’ve been entertaining SI for a few months now. The desire is there, but the act seems so hard to do.
Just think about the people you’d hurt. Works for me.
There is a very real aspect to the thought of “Kill myself??? Do you know how much of a pain in the ass that would be?? Nah, I’ll just wait it out”
“So you’re not suicidal?” Oh, no, if it was just me maybe, but there are friends and family that would be really upset and I don’t want to make someone clean up that mess, they don’t deserve that.
Thank you for your service. All told I’m probably going to lose a decade to recovery, and nothing will be as good probably forever.
🫂
It’d be just weird if I wasn’t funny and could process grief. I bet all my dead pets would agree.
I’m sorry about all your dead pets. Erm… there’s something a little scary about your phrasing.
But would you like to mention something you remember fondly about each of them?
I honest to goodness did not realise how that sounded until now. Holy shit lmao
I’ll write just one for now. Pizza was a black lab husky mix. My stepdad insisted that his name was Stan Lee but fuck him anyway. Pizza had a charming tuxedo pattern, and lived up to the reputations of both breeds; both heroically tireless and directly receiving radio signals from planet Goofball at all times. The adults left his training and minding to a brainless eleven year old, so his natural tendencies compounded with my own, resulting in a creature that could have given Eris herself a headache. He was a really fun dog.
He sounds amazing
Sounds like a true best friend. The kind where you get into (and sometimes out of) trouble together.
That was the way of it. There were team ups, but he had his own solo campaign, too. Once he pooped under the Christmas tree, size of a birthday cake but very well hidden, and there was a smaller decoy out front so when we thought we were done cleaning it still smelled like shit! Mad genius.
whats extra annoying is i have a memory of being a kid going through some shit and making a choice to suppress my emotions really hard to get through it. i remember thinking at the time that this was probably going to hurt me a lot and be a bitch to deal with when i got older… and i was fucking right. im still working through it and a bunch of related issues, but it seems like theres some hope cause i keep making progress.
I made that decision in diapers. How do you undo coping mechanisms from that early?
Sometimes you get so good at it you don’t remember how to turn them back on.
Thanks 7yo me. I just want to stay up all night playing video games. But now I also have access to alcohol.
