whats extra annoying is i have a memory of being a kid going through some shit and making a choice to suppress my emotions really hard to get through it. i remember thinking at the time that this was probably going to hurt me a lot and be a bitch to deal with when i got older… and i was fucking right. im still working through it and a bunch of related issues, but it seems like theres some hope cause i keep making progress.
whats extra annoying is i have a memory of being a kid going through some shit and making a choice to suppress my emotions really hard to get through it. i remember thinking at the time that this was probably going to hurt me a lot and be a bitch to deal with when i got older… and i was fucking right. im still working through it and a bunch of related issues, but it seems like theres some hope cause i keep making progress.
I made that decision in diapers. How do you undo coping mechanisms from that early?
Sometimes you get so good at it you don’t remember how to turn them back on.