I am worried for you repeatedly concluding that violence is the only way to send a message of disapproval.
You can use your voice, you can use verbal signs like getting up and closer, without touching. Showing that you are ready to physically defend your child if the stranger does not back off right now. There is a huge realm of interaction between “letting it pass” and “violence”
The message the child receives is, someone randomly invaded my personal space and my parent got very upset with this person.
What message does it send to a child to respond to any socially wrong interaction with instant violence.
Being a parent though i can understand the sudden emption causing a violent outbursts. But at least these parents understand after the fact that they could responded better.
But at least these parents understand after the fact that they could responded better.
And the old man and every other pervert have been encouraged to offend again. Really fucked up that you’re not getting this. The old man did something wrong and harmful, and now is pretending to be the victim.
That’s because we live in a complex world where multiple things can be true. Trauma can limit our ability to process this, in my experience. The old man was in the wrong, and he was a victim of violence. I’m not trying to fight you, I just think you might have limited objectivity because of your personal experiences.
When you say “it’s really fucked up that you’re not getting this”, you might be noticing the disconnect between your interpretation of events and the way people who aren’t viewing the situation through a lens of trauma might see it.
I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m using your history against you, those are just the cards I see on the table and just one possible interpretation.
Put yourself in the girl’s shoes. I would rather not be touched by random strangers. I hate the fact that stupid, selfish internet people have normalized my lack of autonomy. I hate you for being a coward while feigning moral superiority.
Are you going to condone violence just because violence was done to you?
Literally yes, it’s called defense. Would you let yourself be killed instead of fighting back? The old man was the aggressor. It would be wrong to let him act that way with no consequences. I care more about victims than their abusers, personally. If you choose not to fight at all, you’re choosing to help the abusers.
So it’s possibly the son who is to blame for possibly not taking good care of mentally ill dad.
They might even be trying to pass off their own guilt of knowing that dad needs a caretaker to go in public into blaming the family.
But now i feel even more that i should quote this part of the article, cause its all we have been doing.
The police urged people “not to speculate on the incident or its circumstances” and to let police “conduct investigations and establish the facts of the case”.
I think the point stands even if we ignore this specific incident: If you touch someone in public without their consent, especially a child, you can and probably should be harmed in retaliation. Boundaries and consent are essential. Fuck around, find out.
Can absolutely, should without further context? Hard no.
If they pose an actual threat you have a right to defend your family. Thats an entirely different then they should be hurt as payback.
Mentally ill people are not fucking around. They are also not finding out because they don’t always understand what they did or why others reacted,
They just need help.
Actually i think you might be one of those people.
My kids have like all kids acted inappropriately in public at times, and i don’t want to know how you would respond to it if they accidentally invaded your personal space in the process.
Mentally ill people are not fucking around. They are also not finding out because they don’t always understand what they did or why others reacted,
Good point. Ideally, we would not have such a mental illness epidemic in the first place, and some people blur the line between “mentally ill” and “creep”, but in the interests of not harming the innocent we should be cautious to exercise undue force.
They just need help. Actually i think you might be one of those people.
My christian parents have been hitting me since before I could think. I am seeking help, but I live in the US. Everything’s slow and the therapists have not been good. I’m trying a fifth one in a week or so.
My kids have like all kids acted inappropriately in public at times, and i don’t want to know how you would respond to it if they accidentally invaded your personal space in the process.
At young ages, that is typical. They are still developing, learning boundaries. I do not advocate hitting children. Assuming the old man was not mentally ill, he should have known better.
I am worried for you repeatedly concluding that violence is the only way to send a message of disapproval.
You can use your voice, you can use verbal signs like getting up and closer, without touching. Showing that you are ready to physically defend your child if the stranger does not back off right now. There is a huge realm of interaction between “letting it pass” and “violence”
The message the child receives is, someone randomly invaded my personal space and my parent got very upset with this person.
What message does it send to a child to respond to any socially wrong interaction with instant violence.
Being a parent though i can understand the sudden emption causing a violent outbursts. But at least these parents understand after the fact that they could responded better.
And the old man and every other pervert have been encouraged to offend again. Really fucked up that you’re not getting this. The old man did something wrong and harmful, and now is pretending to be the victim.
That’s because we live in a complex world where multiple things can be true. Trauma can limit our ability to process this, in my experience. The old man was in the wrong, and he was a victim of violence. I’m not trying to fight you, I just think you might have limited objectivity because of your personal experiences.
When you say “it’s really fucked up that you’re not getting this”, you might be noticing the disconnect between your interpretation of events and the way people who aren’t viewing the situation through a lens of trauma might see it.
I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m using your history against you, those are just the cards I see on the table and just one possible interpretation.
The old man was in the wrong and didn’t learn shit. He was not a victim. He made an unacceptable choice.
When your kids are the ones being touched, I hope you tell them the truth: that you personally encouraged their abusers.
I hope you get to a better place mentally, this isn’t healthy.
My parents hit me before I could think. Instead of stopping them, you’re defending their mindset.
Fuck you. Children are people.
So are old people. Everyone’s people. The golden rule covers this. Are you going to condone violence just because violence was done to you?
Edit: I feel foolish for assuming good faith in retrospect. How utterly sad whether they are serious or trolling.
Put yourself in the girl’s shoes. I would rather not be touched by random strangers. I hate the fact that stupid, selfish internet people have normalized my lack of autonomy. I hate you for being a coward while feigning moral superiority.
Literally yes, it’s called defense. Would you let yourself be killed instead of fighting back? The old man was the aggressor. It would be wrong to let him act that way with no consequences. I care more about victims than their abusers, personally. If you choose not to fight at all, you’re choosing to help the abusers.
Listen, I wish you well but I have to disengage from this interaction. Good luck out there.
How do you know this is a pervert and not just an awkward confused elder?
It could have been a pervert yes, thats why you get up and tell them off. Make it clear that they’re being inappropriate.
Public shaming is incredibly effective in altering future behaviour.
But you don’t actually know their motives.
I also don’t think the old man is pretending anything, it’s seems to be his son who is doing that and talked to the media.
Personally i think that son should realise dad is at a stage where they should not go outside on their own.
I’m not sure son gives a shit about his father or the victim, too many dollar signs in his eyes as he seeks “justice”.
So it’s possibly the son who is to blame for possibly not taking good care of mentally ill dad.
They might even be trying to pass off their own guilt of knowing that dad needs a caretaker to go in public into blaming the family.
But now i feel even more that i should quote this part of the article, cause its all we have been doing.
I think the point stands even if we ignore this specific incident: If you touch someone in public without their consent, especially a child, you can and probably should be harmed in retaliation. Boundaries and consent are essential. Fuck around, find out.
Can absolutely, should without further context? Hard no.
If they pose an actual threat you have a right to defend your family. Thats an entirely different then they should be hurt as payback.
Mentally ill people are not fucking around. They are also not finding out because they don’t always understand what they did or why others reacted, They just need help.
Actually i think you might be one of those people.
My kids have like all kids acted inappropriately in public at times, and i don’t want to know how you would respond to it if they accidentally invaded your personal space in the process.
Good point. Ideally, we would not have such a mental illness epidemic in the first place, and some people blur the line between “mentally ill” and “creep”, but in the interests of not harming the innocent we should be cautious to exercise undue force.
My christian parents have been hitting me since before I could think. I am seeking help, but I live in the US. Everything’s slow and the therapists have not been good. I’m trying a fifth one in a week or so.
At young ages, that is typical. They are still developing, learning boundaries. I do not advocate hitting children. Assuming the old man was not mentally ill, he should have known better.