Perhaps there aren’t when you’re a 5 year-old kid and know shit about social etiquette.

[three hours of yelling]

Oh, you are Latino too, I see.

My mother always told me to take the truth, then one day she bought a glass oven dish, wrapped it in gift paper, and gave it to herself. Nothing wrong there, we all deserve nice shit from time to time. The thing is, she later took me to visit her sister (my aunt) and told her “someone” gave her the oven dish. I burst out laughing and said “that’s a lie, she gave it to herself.” She probably wanted to live the fantasy of someone else getting nice things for her? I don’t know. My aunt looked very puzzled, and I think my Mom whooped my ass later on.

The morale is: say nothing.

Pues recogelas, Sigfrido.

¿Qué?

Hummus is just chickpea butter.