If god had a name, what would we call him?

Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?

Honestly I’m baffled the Dems are attempting to have a backbone too. Here’s hoping they’ve finally graduated from whiffle ball to tee-ball.

I never understood this - I think giving people a tour of your house is such a weird thing to do.

Have you ever smoked? Because I assure you you’re wrong about this.

This seems like a volume problem. How many dishes are you washing at a time? I do the dishes after every meal so it’s never a lot at once.

'Cause I’m not planning on going solo

Ugh small talk is the worst!

This is dumb but I never realized how much of her face Liza Minelli got. It’s like she did a parthenogenesis.

Yeah it’s the .ml instance filtering certain words that can be used as slurs such as b_tch and ret_rd.

What a piece of shit. If you don’t have enthusiastic consent you don’t have sex. You don’t just take somebody’s word for it that their drugged and nonresponsive wife is cool with you fucking her. Jesus christ.

Not to defend Ted Cruz, but I have a friend named Ted, short for Edward. It’s not unheard of.

I just took mine off and now nothing else can happen tonight.

The exurbs are far-out suburbs - the part of the suburbs that peter out as the rural area begins. I don’t know if that makes sense for this post because I don’t understand this post even a little bit, but perhaps that’s what OP meant with “ex-urban”?

Saaaame

Late Gen X / early Millennial is called a Xennial. We’re characterized as having been born in a largely analog world and coming of age as consumer technology became more prevalent. I think it informally encompasses 1977-1983.

I was born in '81 and graduated high school in '99. I grew up hearing that I was Gen X, the slacker generation, the whatever generation, the generation where trying was uncool. And that’s exactly the experience I had. I was an adult before I ever heard the term ‘millennial’ and I don’t identify with it at all, though technically I’m on the cusp. Xennial does seem to fit though.

You want lip too is the worst.

When your brow waxer is implying you’ve got a lady stache, and asking if you want her to wax that too.

The best thing about a colonoscopy is that once it’s over, you’ve got a decade until your next one.