So I’m completely new to this and this is a recent self discovery, but I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for 18 years. I was married to him for 11 of those years, but a couple years ago, I started feeling trapped and was starting to fall for other people and we just stopped getting along for a while so I decided I wanted to call it off both for his sake and mine. I learned a lot about myself in the time we were separated and I’m still learning. We got divorced and then, after some time, I started falling for him again because we had both been working on ourselves and we were still on good terms, but now I have a problem. I’m falling for another guy while also loving my current partner. My current partner knows because I opened up to him about it, but he doesn’t want me to pursue anyone else. He wants to stay monogamous and I understand that he’s scared, but I feel like I’ve got a hole in my life. I love my partner, I love this life I have, but I have so much more to give and I wanna share this life with another. I don’t really know what to do or how to stop feeling this way

(Update) I won’t be responding to this anymore. I got a few helpful responses, but I’m tired of the people who think the worst of me for loving 2 people. Thank you to those who did help