If we look at this seriously, how to find comfort and happiness rather than how to become an alpha male, it still makes a ton of sense.
I’m a dad in my 40s who has spent the past several years working on my mental health including therapy, new medications and adjustments, and various positive changes to my personal life.
The frustrating thing is that all the circular sayings and platitudes that make you sound like a monk or a jedi, they make total sense once you’re in better shape, even though I know from experience that when you aren’t doing well it’s useless nonsense.
I think the difficult part to get across is that you DO have to fix your own self and you have to put in the work, but it might take doctors and medications and therapy and some positive diet/exercise/lifestyle changes just to give you the capability.
An example, to wit:
“Stop eating junk food and go outside”
Not only am I old and out of shape with some physical and mental health issues, but I also have a heat sensitivity issue thanks to one of those.
I have spent more time outside this summer than ever before in my life. Not only that, but it has involved a lot of exercise doing construction and other chores & labor in my back yard.
So it may come as no surprise that after ~4 months of this, I am the happiest I have been in a long time if ever. My body is also feeling healthy and looking better. I could get used to having my arm muscles be more visible.
I went to summer camp with my kid a few weeks ago, and living outside for a couple days in a hot forest while walking 15k-20k steps a day was an entirely different experience than the last couple years. It was actually enjoyable in the moment rather than just making memories and finding enrichment for my son.
There’s a positive feedback loop, so it’s like a self fulfilling prophecy but in a good way.
But remember that it’s not just willpower. I am still on all my medications for things like depression and ADHD. Different types of issues require different types of solutions.
It’s the complete opposite for me
I’m relatively healthy, while both of my parents are obese (they still tell me I’m not being healthy enough btw)
So yeah that’s why
I look at my mom for motivation on health. Doing the opposite and I feel great.
I mean, this phenomenon makes total sense to me.
The problem with most parents in the modern world is that they aren’t happy. They and their kids have everything that is nominally necessary to be satisfied in life - food, shelter, etc. - but the parents arent happy, and often the kids arent happy either. This has two results.
Parents are stressed out and time crunched. The combined obligations of work and family leave them with little time for normal adult social interactions. They feel out of control of their lives. This makes them want more control at home, which drives an authoritarian attitude. While any given instruction they give to their child may be for the child’s benefit, the meta command (either implicit or overt) is to obey their authority unquestioningly. This drives resentment in their children, who will then rebel and disobey instructions out of spite, rather than out of disagreement.
Meanwhile, the children can see their parents are unhappy. So why would the children listen to their parents? After all, simply being happy tends to be the goal of pretty much everyone - so why would you listen to people who arent happy, if your goal is to be happy? Like, if a homeless guy tells you to invest in Bitcoin, thats not very sound investment advice. And even if their parents are happy, they often do not empathize with their childrens’ problems, values, or goals. When a 13 year old dreams of being a pop star, she will only resent her parents advice to get a college degree in accounting.
So flash forward 10 years. The kid has ignored everything their parents taught them and fallen flat on their face. And then they run into some content from Marcus Aurelius or Jordan Peterson or whatever. It is the same shit their parents told them. The difference is the messenger. It is someone who at least appears to be confident and happy and successful, who is apparently giving out their advice out of a desire to help people. They acknowledge people’s struggles, ambitions, and values, and explain how whatever advice they have will help overcome these struggles, achieve these ambitions, and live these values. They are functioning as the parents people wish they had had.
Agreed, but now you have kids that have been raised on internet influencers as locos parentis, so it’s like they can skip the 10 year wait.
I mean, in a way… good. Like, a 15 year old who listens to Jordan Peterson about how they should care for their mental health and work hard to achieve their goals is going to be better off than one who… I dunno… watches tiktoks about video games. Like, that individual will, legitimately, statistically, have better outcomes.
But this is problematic for society because it advances right wing rhetoric and creates a new generation of right wingers with a very legitimate claim that right wing thought is helpful for them.
If the left wants to fight back, they need to provide a competitively empowering message. They need to tell people that their concerns and desires are legitimate, and that it is within their power to improve their lives through their own actions.
Also… clean your room!
If only parents had glowing red lens flare eyes 😔
If Romans could get ambrosia 24/7 for dirt cheap, they’d be all over that shit.
thank god you self censored, else id be exposed to the word “fuck”. none of the adults here would be happy with such humongous profanity. i’m glad we are advertiser-friendly here.
F
UCK
Experience with my own kids. Tell them something that will improve their life. They don’t listen.
Hear it from a friend or youtube streamer? Its now law with them. This is the way of things.
The only viable solution: become YouTube streamer.
My Dad does this and its more cringe, especially because its abt his cult religion. Its been 15 years, he is still doing it and he only has a handful of followers.
I’d drink to more context to this story
My parents hate gay people and I’m a flaming homosexual. We have had so many fights over the past 6 years I’ve been out. My Dad thinks he is intelligent and well spoken while he ia saying the most sexist things. His video streams are 99% of the time with this christian deacon that is a part of his cult saying that gay marriage is a sin and women should be child caretakers, while my mom is making 3x his salary as an engineer. They both come off smart on the outside but it crumbles when you hear they’re awful opinions like “the rich deserve to get richer” smh. If I tell you his domination he should be the first YouTube result
Do is I say, not as I do.
That one popped in my mind.
Hope you are doing good regardless of the opinion of your father.
That abt sums it up! I have had good and bad years, I just got divorced at 25, still debating if this year is bad or good
Nooo. First leave your family, then become a YouTube streamer to teach your kids.
Does not work, children always do that with their parents.
… with a mask and using a pseudonym
I find the approach really matters. Though I am not going to say my kids agree with everything I say ti them, they at least listen.
That’s because most parents stop at that, saying it. If they actually did what they ask their kids to do, the kids would emulate them sooner or later.
B u l l.
Just explain why ffs. My parents never did so I never bothered. And learning cleaning habits as adult suuuuuucks.
It seems like you’re wanting to disagree with the person you’re replying to, but the point you made falls completely in line with what they said
I understood that person as saying to lead by example rather by talking. And I, as a kid, didn’t care for example, I needed to know why should I bother.
Okay, now your initial comment is more clear. Sorry for the confusion
Both are important.
My kids act like they being tortured when I drag them outside. Then they have a blast. Then we’re back to outside = torture. Rinse and repeat.
Clean your room!
“Go oUtSiDe!” says the guy rocked by an angry mountain. The only mountain I’m climbing is my stairmaster.
