I discovered I had a chronic illness when my wife was pregnant with twins, our first (and last) children.
It was tough. Being able to care for my partner and kids is a fundamental part of my identity (like many people). At first I wasn’t sure if I was going to be around to see my kids born, but things settled into a rhythm and now 4 years later my condition is “stable”.
Like many illnesses, mine is heavily dependent on how well I care for myself: diet, exercise, lifestyle. However, these things are a question of time, so they compete with the objectives of just being a good dad and spending time with your kids, and with having a career and building financial security.
Before having a family I didn’t really understand “having time”. Rather than time it’s more like energy, or “cognitive power” or spoons or whatever. You only get so much each day and you burn through it being a good dad, going to work, being a partner, and so on. Basically, money, family, and health, are competing objectives.
Basically, the only option is to do everything you can to do all of the things as best you can. It’s hard.
With all of that said, I don’t understand the question. It sounds kind of judgey if I’m honest. You don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life, or house, or head.
Judgemental was not my intention. Everyone has their own set of circumstances. The point is that many including myself should take better care of ourselves for our children, that is one of the better things we can do for our children. I also have a chronic illness that limits my ability, but I am not saying that our circumstances are the same.
You getting to the point of being “stable” as you said, IS taking care of yourself. That is love towards your family and yourself. That is doing everything you can for your children and family!
I could have added some more context in the description to clarify, sorry about that.
My bad, it was just an oddly phrased question and my inference was incorrect. I’m a bit defensive this stuff.
In my case having a stable condition is mostly thanks to the miracle of modern medecine. It’s not nothing though. The meds have awful side effects.
My main point is, every day I do what I can. There might come a day when I wish I had done more for my health, but today I know that I just don’t have any more to give.
My recommendation is not to judge yourself too harshly. It can cause problems like eating disorders and anxiety and delusions. The expectations on modern parents are stratospheric, when in reality just by being around for birth youre doing better than the majority of your ancestors.
I don’t understand the question really?
I discovered I had a chronic illness when my wife was pregnant with twins, our first (and last) children.
It was tough. Being able to care for my partner and kids is a fundamental part of my identity (like many people). At first I wasn’t sure if I was going to be around to see my kids born, but things settled into a rhythm and now 4 years later my condition is “stable”.
Like many illnesses, mine is heavily dependent on how well I care for myself: diet, exercise, lifestyle. However, these things are a question of time, so they compete with the objectives of just being a good dad and spending time with your kids, and with having a career and building financial security.
Before having a family I didn’t really understand “having time”. Rather than time it’s more like energy, or “cognitive power” or spoons or whatever. You only get so much each day and you burn through it being a good dad, going to work, being a partner, and so on. Basically, money, family, and health, are competing objectives.
Basically, the only option is to do everything you can to do all of the things as best you can. It’s hard.
With all of that said, I don’t understand the question. It sounds kind of judgey if I’m honest. You don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life, or house, or head.
Well, it’s not about you specifically lol unless you know OP personally?
I don’t care if it’s not me specifically?
Well you shared some specifics that obviously makes you an exception to OP point.
Not really sure what you’re getting at but I just don’t care.
Have a nice day!
Judgemental was not my intention. Everyone has their own set of circumstances. The point is that many including myself should take better care of ourselves for our children, that is one of the better things we can do for our children. I also have a chronic illness that limits my ability, but I am not saying that our circumstances are the same.
You getting to the point of being “stable” as you said, IS taking care of yourself. That is love towards your family and yourself. That is doing everything you can for your children and family!
I could have added some more context in the description to clarify, sorry about that.
My bad, it was just an oddly phrased question and my inference was incorrect. I’m a bit defensive this stuff.
In my case having a stable condition is mostly thanks to the miracle of modern medecine. It’s not nothing though. The meds have awful side effects.
My main point is, every day I do what I can. There might come a day when I wish I had done more for my health, but today I know that I just don’t have any more to give.
My recommendation is not to judge yourself too harshly. It can cause problems like eating disorders and anxiety and delusions. The expectations on modern parents are stratospheric, when in reality just by being around for birth youre doing better than the majority of your ancestors.