I have found in my experience that this is just typical narcissistic behavior. They care about themselves far more than the impact of their actions on the child they’re supposed to care for.

The interesting pattern I have seen with this type of parent, is that they often behave more like a cruel older sibling, bullying their child. They have a teenager’s mentality and often a child’s fear of accountability.

The unfortunate children that have to struggle with this kind of “support structure” grow up to be hyper independent, to the point that it becomes a socialization problem, or become a wreck just like their parent.

It always baffled me how people could become their child’s first bully. Like, how are you going to bring someone into existence itself just to fuckin torture them?

My childhood friend introduced me to internet porn for the first time when I was 13; amongst the porn we watched were some lesbian videos. My parents punished me significantly, without any thoughtful discussion about sexuality at all. A week later my mom tells my lesbian aunt and her wife that I watched lesbian porn and they all laugh uproariously, while I’m in the next room over deeply ashamed. That sucked.

And then having the audacity to ask why I never tell her anything anymore

When I was maybe 23 or so, in retrospect, I was in the pits of depression.

I had a car I was selling on Craigslist…a POS Volvo 740GL Wagon. I didn’t even bother cleaning it out.

I was unemployed and living with my parents, right after the 2008 crash. But the day that the guy came to pick up the car, I was out and my dad handled the financials.

A few years later, I googled one of my friends. He was a musician, and I left one of his CDs in the car.

Turns out the guy who bought it planned on restoring it and wrote a blog. But he never continued past the “I got the car” page. He dug through analyzing everything I left in the car.

Curious, I searched his screen name on the blog…and found a forum post, talking about the day they got the car.

In the forum post, he detailed how my dad went on, for several minutes, ranting about what a piece of shit I was. He couldn’t even stop him. He just kept rambling. He gave a couple examples of things he must’ve been told by my father. Things my father has absolutely no business divulging to a total stranger.

It’s nearly 20 years later. I still haven’t forgotten that. I never mentioned it to my dad, and I don’t intend to. I barely ever speak to them, and actively avoid them most the time. Honestly nothing gives me more anxiety than having to deal with my parents, except maybe dealing with my wife’s dad and stepmom (and her stepsisters…her half-brothers are cool tho, and her mom and whole-siblings are some of the best people I’ve ever met), because they are very much the same as my parents, except Trumpers.

This is abuse, btw

Then they look at you and say: “Oh, you just can’t take a joke.” A couple minutes later: “C’mon, smile!” A couple minutes after that: “You always have such a weird smile!” A couple minutes after that: “Where are you going? No wonder you don’t have any friends!”

Dear fellow parents who were once kids themselves: respect goes both ways, trust is not a bank account you can freely make withdrawals from now and then, and the kids that respect and love you now might resent you later on when given good reason to. If you love them, show it every day.

Tell them about all the men who come to your house when dad’s at work.