I think it’s very fair to want, but not need, to be treated the same in return.
I also think there’s a difference between helping a stranger vs someone you know and see regularly.
If I help a stranger, I’m not going to expect squat from them. But if you do something nice like cover a friend’s share of the tab or something, I’d expect the same in return at some point. I wouldn’t necessarily say anything, but if it’s a repeated thing, it doesn’t make you a bad person to stop helping them.
Being a good person doesn’t mean being a doormat, and I think it’s important to understand the difference. Doing nice things for people is great. Doing things to be nice while hurting yourself, that probably shouldn’t be a regular thing. I’ve seen a lot of friends suffer emotionally or financially due to bad friends, or especially bad family, because it makes them feel bad to cut people off that take but never give in kind.
The second part is describing a social contract of sorts, conditional assistance , which would put it squarely on the side of “expecting it to be reciprocal”, situationally at least.
I don’t disagree with this, but it’s a really big difference from your original reply.
I think it’s very fair to want, but not need, to be treated the same in return.
I also think there’s a difference between helping a stranger vs someone you know and see regularly.
If I help a stranger, I’m not going to expect squat from them. But if you do something nice like cover a friend’s share of the tab or something, I’d expect the same in return at some point. I wouldn’t necessarily say anything, but if it’s a repeated thing, it doesn’t make you a bad person to stop helping them.
Being a good person doesn’t mean being a doormat, and I think it’s important to understand the difference. Doing nice things for people is great. Doing things to be nice while hurting yourself, that probably shouldn’t be a regular thing. I’ve seen a lot of friends suffer emotionally or financially due to bad friends, or especially bad family, because it makes them feel bad to cut people off that take but never give in kind.
as i said, nuance.
The second part is describing a social contract of sorts, conditional assistance , which would put it squarely on the side of “expecting it to be reciprocal”, situationally at least.
I don’t disagree with this, but it’s a really big difference from your original reply.
That’s because I’m a different person that is expanding on your nuance, not the person you originally replied to (TropicalDingdong). 😁
Well, shit…that would explain it, my bad.
No offense taken. It was obviously a misunderstanding.