Last time I had a proper surge of emotion I got angry that some stranger forcibly pushed me on public transport. I struggle enough standing on public transport with low grade cerebral palsy.

I did not like emotionally responding like that one bit. Spent days trying to figure out why I got so upset by someone acting like an ass. Did not care for it. The idea of wanting to elicit that kind of emotion is just unfathomable to me. I prefer when everything is just kind of muted.