That’s super fair. I didn’t mean to imply you didn’t try hard enough or anything, I suppose my main intent is to put examples of good communication on the Internet for others to see. I hope both of you are in a better place.

It sounds like they may have had ADHD. My partner and I struggled with that for a bit what ended up helping was a small daily task list, stuff like do the dishes, do the laundry, clean the bathroom. Just 3 or 4 things to have a physical reminder to do those tasks. Eventually they become routine and the list is less necessary. If you ever find yourself in a relationship like that again it isn’t your responsibility to be your partners executive function, but it could be helpful to ask “what do you need from me to help you remember to do these things” and maybe make some suggestions.