Thanks :) yeah it was great! Have a great summer ^^

Ah that’s great, itb is a good combo of molecules for bipolars (provided the person tolerates the lamotrigigine). Fair enough, only you and the health professionals helping you can say what may be your condition. It is true that psychological conditions come with a lot of stigma. I now speak freely of depression because I think it is important to open the discussions on that topic, which actually concerns quite a lot of people suffering in silence but I rarely mention being bipolar because I don’t want to face extra negative consequences.

I don’t think it’s weird to ask about a specific medication, what may cross the line os to ask for it but I regularly ask my psychiatrist about complements or molecules I heard about to have his opinion or to understand why he made the decision he made about my treatment. I think it’s ok to be curious about those matters, it is our health and we are entitled to understanding what we take and why.

Yeah, I hear that. I make notes of my feelings (either on paper of the appointments are far appart or at least mental notes if there are less than 6 weeks between appointements) focussing both on my mood and feelings and on the first “symptoms” signalling an upcoming mood swing (e.g. how much I sleep, whether I feel tired or not etc).

Sorry for the delay, I was abroad on holiday and things got fairly busy!

I don’t mind at all and I’m glad you ask, if I can help someone going through this I’m thrilled! :)

Turns out I’m bipolar (although several doctors told me I wasn’t, I’m not a psychiatrist and I’m absolutely not trying to diagnose you but I wouldn’t take one doctor’s opinion for granted). Exactly as you did I first showed an improvement with Escitalopram but then it kinda faded (I wonder if it doesn’t modify the dopaminergic system because after the first phase of improvement I started craving for pleasures, and started eating, drinking and smoking a lot of weed…i.e. gaining a lot of weight). In the end and after several years (Escitalopram was the first treatment I tried) I finally found a good psychiatrist who decided to try a bipolatoty-oriented treatment, which worked and confirmed the diagnosis. I now have a two-molecule system: lamotrigigine every day (acts as a “floor” for my mood preventing depression) and aripiprazol as a “ceiling” which I adjust (0, 1, 5 or 10mg in the morning) depending on my mood to avoid manic phases. It’s worth noting that I too had a couple of relatives with likely (but undiagnosed) thymic disorders (whether bipolar or cyclothymia, it’s unclear). Together with regular sessions with a psychologists and a good hygiene (regular sleep schedule, limiting stress as much as possible and fighting my addictions) it does the trick and I’m no longer suicidal or clinically depressed most of the time.

Don’t worry about the long message, these things deserve to be discussed at length. If you ever wanna talk to someone who knows what you go through, I’m available btw, some internet anon had been there for me when I needed it, I am happy to help if you’d like.

Sertraline didn’t do the trick for me…neither did mirtazapine, or Escitalopram, or Quetiapine. Psychiatric drugs are life savers but finding the one that’ll actually save your life can be a freaking pain (if anyone reading this is in that “still looking” stage, don’t give up though, once you find one that suits you it’s a game changer, life can have colours again).