Ininewcrow

Adjusts settings …

“MOM!!! … I can’t turn down the temperature setting! … it’s too hot!!”

Duct taped kid after a four hour LAN session … ‘uhhhh guys … guys! … GUYS!!! I need to pee!!!’

And you still end up with people near the entrance asking where the arcade is.

Best solution is to force the Ramirez inside to go outside with the other Ramirez … and don’t let either of them back inside.

Sorry Ramirez :(

Don’t joke. I was at my wilderness cottage in northern Ontario about six years ago.

Bright blue sky, beautiful sun, warm air, no bugs … I was alone … the world was my own. Then a round white object the size of the full moon slowly drifted overhead. I thought maybe it was just some thing that was blowing by … a piece of garbage, plastic or even a party balloon. So I ignored it.

It stayed in place for an hour and I thought it was weird.

After hovering in place as clouds slowly started to move overhead … I became worried. It’s freaky to see an object stay in the same spot in the sky for eight hours and it isn’t the moon or the sun.

It stayed until sundown, then finally moved away.

I researched it and asked around about it days after.

Turns out it was a new experimental balloon system they launched from Timmins, Ontario. Some new system someone was developing to raise rockets into high altitude and launch them from there.

But for a few days I was really freaked out.

You know you fucked up in life if in the afterlife after you die … you are not greeted by St Peter … but you are greeted by Clippy

ON CRASHER! ON THRASHER! ON VOMIT AND BLITZKRIEG!!!

North Pole Inc: … you must jingle all the way or else you will arrested to be taken to a one horse open sleigh re-education camp

Wild to think that it would be safer to go to Mexico than the US.

If you’re not white you’re more likely to be arrested, detained, sent back or disappeared if you go to the US.

I had someone in the comments the other day give me a new response to this kind of question … I used to just answer ‘No, I’m not OK’

Now I respond with … ‘I will be’

Him and all his imaginary friends

That’s a very happy looking potato … I can relate

Feng shui constipation

Usually, its from the freeze/melt cycle forming giant blocks of ice somewhere on the road … then the plow pushing a giant chunk right onto your driveway. Best time for this is usually at the end of winter when it’s constantly thawing then refreezing at night.

Somewhere randomly within those deposits is a large boulder of solid ice that is too hard to break, too heavy to move, yet somehow occupies the middle of the snowpile.