I have come in peace. You need not fear me; I mean you no harm. However, it is important to note that most of you will not survive the next 24 hours. Those of you who do survive will be enslaved and experimented on. You should in no way take any of this personally. It’s just business. So, just to recap: I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die.

Ah, the Jozef Gabčík Solution.

I hear the working class in the EU is having troubles with inflation and housing.

Now Denmark can experience some American bipartisanship first hand.

“You must all reach across the aisle and let the Republicans run your country. If you don’t, Donald Trump will be very very upset. He might even kill a few of you. But I assure you that everything will be okay if you just let it happen. Scouts honor!”

Trump is way ahead of you. I believe he wants to rename Greenland to Red White and Blueland. Europe renaming the island will advance those naming plans.

The US has a lot of anger they want to take out on someone.

Well. Massive radioactivity, blindness, and a forever dusty sky will make people very sick. This means American health execs can make a lot of money if America launches a surprise invasion of NATO.

I believe the accelerationists want Greenland to join the US. Those guys are eager to see a nuclear war kick off.

Huh. I suppose that means Greenland in April, and then Canada in October.

If this happens, I predict that Trump will make his move in late October. It’s the sweet spot for diverting everyone’s attention to NATO’s response. It also gives a few weeks for Trump to launch a followup attack on Iceland or Ireland if NATO doesn’t hit back.

Oh I think some in the US are delusional enough to think they can take the entire world.