I’ve tried strategically placing citrus scented candles near plants and objects to deter our young man. Unfortunately he doesn’t give a shit. He was a friendly city stray that was picked up and we adopted him last year. The absolute lack of shits he has to give about anything probably helped him survive so well. No matter how convenient or inconvenient you make something, he’s still going to do what he wants. At least he’s not a monster, just obnoxiously friendly with no personal boundaries.

Something akin to a male escort said Lyndsay Graham nicknamed the moles around his private… FUCK! There went my breakfast.

You get the idea.