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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 19th, 2023

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  • Ah, you understand. She gave my BIL a sandwich baggie of used golf tees that were all chipped and dirty, that she picked up off the public golf course near her house. She gave me HER OWN very used bathrobe that was so threadbare you could poke holes in it with your finger. She gave her ONLY grandchild an old vitamin bottle filled with dish soap and a bubble wand she found in the park or something. We would have all forfeited presents happily if she just spent a bit of money on her grandchild, but no. She also volunteered at a Catholic secondhand store, so would just take home anything that suited her fancy, and give us these cardboard boxes, unwrapped, full of used crap nobody wanted, and grandchild would get a stained old dress or a sleeping bag that smelled like smoke.

    Some people would perceive this as a poor person who means well and is trying, but she got a ton of alimony every month, had more money than any of us, and was reassured routinely that it was ok to just celebrate at dinner and just buy a present for the kid. But the whole point was to make you feel like she was insulting you by giving you garbage.

    These people cannot change and don’t want to, and it’s not worth trying.


  • My ER clerk friend told me that one night a guy walked in and tried to hand her what looked like the ball of a trailer hitch, and for some reason it had burn marks on it and it stunk. She told him to get it out of there and asked him what he did with it and why he was there. He had set it on fire and shoved it up his ass. Why he set it on fire first is a mystery, but he just wanted to be seen for his burns to his hands. At least nobody had to fish it out.




  • I actually did have a therapist offer to refund me once. I found her incredibly rude and she said things to me I found that were like negging and patronizing almost? I came away from each session feeling like she didn’t like me at all, and that we hadn’t done anything at all, like I was speaking into a void to someone who offered me exactly one piece of advice the whole time. I drove myself crazy trying to figure out if I just wasn’t getting something or was I just the asshole or what, and in the final session when I finally burst into tears because I felt so belittled and like she disliked me, I told her I could not continue with her because of this, that she had said almost NOTHING to me save for one sentence that I considered anything like therapy, and that I could not continue throwing a lot of money at this when I felt completely unsupported and unsafe, and I left. (Whether I was wrong or not we weren’t getting anywhere or jiving so there was no point). She left me a very patronizing voice mail where she snarkily apologized and offered to refund or refer me elsewhere. I did not return her call. Maybe it was a me problem, to this day I don’t know, but I had two therapists after that (one retired) and we got along just fine and made plenty of progress. I really don’t know. I am not going to not pay someone for their work regardless of what I think of the job they did as that’s not ethical, but that was several hundred dollars wasted.

    I did have the faintest sense that the senior therapist in that practice didn’t think a lot of her either, as she walked into one of my sessions as we just had sat down to begin and said kind of coldly “May I talk to you?” to my therapist and they took off and talked for a bit, and she didn’t seem awfully happy when she returned (and she deducted that time from my session which amazed me). She isn’t there anymore according to their website. I really don’t know. I still feel awful when I think of her.


  • I do believe I was discussing how my extremely well off FIL loaned my BIL money to go back to school, when he had never given him a dime for anything education or otherwise ever in his life, simply so he didn’t have to take on student loans a second time, and when he was not yet employed a month after finishing school took him to court to get all of the money back. Um, this is your kid, you are worth millions easy, you didn’t do shit for him, and it was like 3-4K which is a drop in the bucket for you, which you really should have just given him, and if you were going to be like this in the end you should have just been up front and said no so he didn’t have to go through this. I think I also discussed how he promised to pay for dinner the night after my wedding when my parents had stumped up for my wedding dinner (we got married in NYC), and then when the check came started adding up what everyone owed. Again, if you didn’t want to, don’t, but don’t fucking leave everyone dangling, we didn’t ask you to. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my ex so upset, not because we had to pay, but because he did that.

    There are other things too, like his mother’s habit of weaponized eccentricity where she would give you literal garbage for Christmas presenta because she liked to pretend she was very poor even though she has more money than any of her kids, but she liked to see your face drop when you opened the gift which was trash to anyone else, and just a whole whack of other things. Narcissists are wild.