I appreciate the breakdown but first, I’m not in the US. Where I’m from we don’t do therapy, we burn out, we have a mental breakdown, we cash in our sick days and after 2 weeks we’re back to work. If your mental problems aren’t directly work related, nobody gives a shit. Just as an example, the waiting period to get an appointment for every single therapist in my city is about 2+ years.
The short time I’ve been to the US I have to say, dating in the US seems to be easy mode. Trust me, whatever social rules you think apply in the US don’t fly in most European countries. Theres no way to “enter” social circles, you’re either in or you’re out. Being an immigrant, I know this to well.
And I don’t need a step-by-step tutorial on how to put myself together. I’m not a 16 year old. I’m in my 30s, and I spend a good chunk of my life trying to play by the book, with zero success. Just to make myself clear, not “little” success, zero success. I’ve never even gotten a phone number. That feels like an anomaly, a statistical impossibility even. But it is what it is.
Besides, life has gotten so expensive that I couldn’t even afford any single thing you’ve listed. I’m at a point where 50 bucks are life changing. The economy is completely stacked against single people, always has been. Of course with a decent job that would be different but I’m overworked and barely make above minimum wage. I basically live paycheck to paycheck while my friends are buying houses. We all went to the same school and graduated together, so there’s really no excuse for me being an absolute loser.
It’s not like I act like a crazy person in public. As much as I dislike self-censoring, I dial down the inappropriate humor and keep the topics lighthearted with new people. I just have accepted that there’s something about me that women absolutely despise, something invisible to me and frankly to other guys. I have zero issues hanging out with dudes, even randoms. I’m a silver tongued smooth talker with the boys, but the second I turn any of that confidence to a girl… Let’s say I have seen enough smiles fade and eyes roll.
And you’re under the assumption that I want a partner in the first olace, that’s not true. What I genuenly want with every fibre of my being is to just die and get this over with. So much so, that I’ve been deliberately ignoring 2 weeks of hard stomach pain because I’m hoping it’s colon cancer - gotta let it simmer and spread a little before giving the doctors a heart attack.
I’d be an absolute catastrophic burden on any serious partner. My brutal mental disorders have destroyed friendships with a strong lifelong foundation. How the hell am I supposed to develop a romantic relationship from a fleeting interaction? There is simply no winning in this situation. If feel like somebody checkmated me and people are sitting around the board thinking of pieces to move to somehow turn the game around. There are no moves left only lessons to learn.
I appreciate the breakdown but first, I’m not in the US. Where I’m from we don’t do therapy, we burn out, we have a mental breakdown, we cash in our sick days and after 2 weeks we’re back to work. If your mental problems aren’t directly work related, nobody gives a shit. Just as an example, the waiting period to get an appointment for every single therapist in my city is about 2+ years.
The short time I’ve been to the US I have to say, dating in the US seems to be easy mode. Trust me, whatever social rules you think apply in the US don’t fly in most European countries. Theres no way to “enter” social circles, you’re either in or you’re out. Being an immigrant, I know this to well.
And I don’t need a step-by-step tutorial on how to put myself together. I’m not a 16 year old. I’m in my 30s, and I spend a good chunk of my life trying to play by the book, with zero success. Just to make myself clear, not “little” success, zero success. I’ve never even gotten a phone number. That feels like an anomaly, a statistical impossibility even. But it is what it is.
Besides, life has gotten so expensive that I couldn’t even afford any single thing you’ve listed. I’m at a point where 50 bucks are life changing. The economy is completely stacked against single people, always has been. Of course with a decent job that would be different but I’m overworked and barely make above minimum wage. I basically live paycheck to paycheck while my friends are buying houses. We all went to the same school and graduated together, so there’s really no excuse for me being an absolute loser.
It’s not like I act like a crazy person in public. As much as I dislike self-censoring, I dial down the inappropriate humor and keep the topics lighthearted with new people. I just have accepted that there’s something about me that women absolutely despise, something invisible to me and frankly to other guys. I have zero issues hanging out with dudes, even randoms. I’m a silver tongued smooth talker with the boys, but the second I turn any of that confidence to a girl… Let’s say I have seen enough smiles fade and eyes roll.
And you’re under the assumption that I want a partner in the first olace, that’s not true. What I genuenly want with every fibre of my being is to just die and get this over with. So much so, that I’ve been deliberately ignoring 2 weeks of hard stomach pain because I’m hoping it’s colon cancer - gotta let it simmer and spread a little before giving the doctors a heart attack.
I’d be an absolute catastrophic burden on any serious partner. My brutal mental disorders have destroyed friendships with a strong lifelong foundation. How the hell am I supposed to develop a romantic relationship from a fleeting interaction? There is simply no winning in this situation. If feel like somebody checkmated me and people are sitting around the board thinking of pieces to move to somehow turn the game around. There are no moves left only lessons to learn.