Actually, some girls have approached me after years of having this strategy! Two of them managed to get through my autistic filtering. However, venting time, both cases have followed this pattern: I’m not interested at first and try to keep distance. After some time I get warmed up enough to get interested back and then the other party loses interest. I can still keep in touch as their second therapist and comfort their suicidal thoughts. There was also a platonic internet friendship with one girl when I was a lonely teenager, but she cut contacts and is dead nowadays.

I’ve never made a first move and still don’t feel like start dating. Although, I’m kinda close with one woman, but if I try to touch her, she falls asleep. Also, if she doesn’t have enough clothes, she feels too cold and falls asleep. And we’re both kinda depressed bottoms so usually nothing happens anyway. Is this what a relationship should feel like? At least she doesn’t scream and scratch bloody wounds to her arms. Not sure if I should feel lucky having these experiences. Oops, this was a meme channel.

Edit: for the record, in case my vent tone suggests otherwise, I respect my friends and support them best I can. I just can’t help but feel that I might’ve always lacked a basic nourishing intimacy myself.