Me pretending to look like a busy and important person with lots of friends when I’m just browsing Lemmy in public

Followed by pretending to write a reply to the message I didn’t receive so people don’t think I’m some kind of textless loser. Smile like it was something funny. Don’t smile too much or people will think I’m nuts. Check again a minute later like the person who didn’t text me replied to the reply I didn’t send.

We should all start a group chat.

Me: get a smart watch to buzz when people message me (phone has been silenced since 2007)

Also me even though watch has not buzzed: oh I wonder if I have any new messages, let me look at the phone screen

(Immediate disappointment)

Wait a mi- nope, that was just me sending myself an ssh key.