Omg my parents and my maternal grandma was like: (about my older brother’s marriage thing) “You have to see out more options (in the same timeframe) in case your first match fails” or something…
Marriage is like College to them, and their “searching for ‘candidates for marriage’” is like looking at colleges (or perhaps a college processing applications), looking at the person’s profiles, education level, wealth, looks, intelligence, occupation, etc…
So weird to be in the sphere of all this lol…
They be so busy mom doesn’t even really wanna talk to me…
(What the hell is life? Is this what being a human is? Be born, cant do anything for 6 years, then go through 8 hours of school every day till 18, then college, then work, marriage, taxes, children, then onto the graveyard. Yayyy.
Pls get me out of this simulation, I’m so bored and tired… 😩
Sorry I got another existential crisis…)
I think it’s because: “If love wasn’t the reason to get into a marriage, then lack if love wouldn’t be the reason to get out of a marriage” (I read this from some random forum/website and it actually make so much sense).
In Traditional Chinese marriage, they look at practical stuff like if they have the wealth, housing, career, to raise children… that sort of stuff… love is secondary ti those things…
So in my parents time, people of marriage age would just get introduced to those who are also of marriage of the opposite sex. And like if they feel okay with it, they just settle and get married.
I think once I ask my mom why she went with my dad, she said something like “he doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t gamble, he doesn’t drink”… like… lol…
I feel like a lot of people in China have those aforementioned problems.
They’re still married to this day… I doubt they have much sex besides for procreation so like… probably only those 2 times creating my older brother then me…
My mom is kinda scary tho, she once went full tiger mom mode and threatened to divorce my dad… because some stupid disagreement… and I was a teen during that time… kinda messed up my mood… I mean that feels world shattering if it happens… so… luckily it never did.
I’m German. My grandparents were married for 75 years (from their early 20’s until my grandfather died aged 97)!
I once asked my grandma what their secret was, how they stayed in love for their entire lives. She hesitated a bit, as if thinking about whether she should tell me…
And then she said: If it had been as easy to get divorced back then as it is now, I wouldn’t have stayed 5 years.