“relate” is the problem term in this scenario. when someone’s dad dies in a car accident and you say “my dad died fighting nazis” that isn’t “relate” that’s one-upping
when someone royally fucks up at work and you say “yea, i did the same thing. and here i am still,” THAT’S relating.
it’s not about making people feel like their situation isn’t bad, it’s about communicating that you understand. even if you don’t really
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_Revealed