sauce (it’s a great short horror)
spicy pancake
paranoid linux sadgirl with imposter syndrome
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especially when they go down staircases, I’ve read
it puts the coochie in the bath or else it gets the straw again
I’m an uncoordinated middle aged poot monster and can confirm the universal utility of the sucky bar has probably saved me from getting several stitches
I didn’t really think of it as a “power” but now that you mention it, I could probably prank the hell out someone with some wacky nonsense. Voof some guava jelly and shoot 'er out the cooter during sex. SURPRISE!!! 🤪
(this will likely never happen as I’m perpetually single. gee i wonder why)
I didn’t either so imagine my fuckin surprise 💀
but then I couldn’t go on the internet! everyone knows there are no girls on the internet!
haha fortunately it only happened at home & not an amount that would have made it outside clothes anyway
I’m the kind of person that tells internet strangers that my cunt vacuumed bath water. you bet I’d be slinging that cognitohazard of truth to anyone unlucky enough to be present lmao
remember to clean your jets regularly i saw a video of someone cleaning the jets for someone who didn’t know you had to clean them and i will never enter a mystery jacuzzi again oh god 🫠
attach suction cups to one side
instructions unclear listened to an entire season of a podcast, am still unwashed but soaking wet, my water bill is now $500, and my fingers are pruny
…remind me not to eat off any of your dishes
I wish women were real. They’re so pretty.
wh–do other people with vaginas jerk off in the tub!? I specifically stopped taking baths because my snatch kept slurping water then ejecting it into my underwear later. Yick.
That’s the point. Companies want a free lunch instead of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and training new employees
“bUt WhAt iF tHeY jUsT uSe mY cOmPaNy FoR tRaInInG tHeN gO wOrK sOmEwHeRe ElSe” sounds like the free market at work, shoulda made your company a better place to sell their labor, idiot!
here’s a bunch of my surrealtube faves I compiled recently
Sam Barnett
The Diary of Tortov Roddle by JollyRoger
Hot Regards
Museum of Obsolete Objects
PES
xyoureyes
Symmetric Vision
Don’t Hug Me .I’m Scared
Duncan Hatch
Honibloom Dreams by Jeremiah Content
The Shore by Eron Sheean
Sit Down, Don’t Touch Anything by Frederic Siegel
Acid Rain by Tomek Popakul
A Lost Little Puppet by Sans Strings Studio
Ghosts Before Breakfast (soundtrack added because original was lost) by Hans Richter
also check out https://lemmy.zip/c/surrealism@fedia.io